Or, A Brief Ode to World Naked Gardening Day
World Naked Gardening Day is celebrated the first Saturday in May,
Unless you’re in New Zealand, where fall is in May,
And WNGD is the end of October, it just works better that way.
A day dedicated to gardening in the nude,
It’s supposed to be fun, let’s not get rude.
Started way back in 2005,
It began as a day for nudists to thrive.
They claim naked gardening is second only to swimming,
As an activity people are willing to do in the buff.
I guess that could be true.
Although tree trimming or power tools might make it tough. (YIKES!)
A celebration started by two guys,
Who thought gardening naked would be wise.
A day to celebrate all things natural and free,
But, oh boy, watch out for that bee!
Pulling poison ivy is off the menu,
And we’ll have to be careful of our venue,
As public nudity can be frowned upon,
Celebrations probably should be confined to our own back lawn!
Pruning roses can be thorny,
And there’s always the danger of making the neighbors horny.
But just think of all that Vitamin D,
And the warm sunshine on my whoooooole body!
Oh the freedom, oh the joy,
Oh the sunburn, boy, oh boy!
Bee stings, mosquito bites, maybe this was dumb,
I’ve even got poison ivy on my bum!
Next year I think I’ll leave WNGD to the pros,
I’ll just keep gardening in my clothes,
Let’s leave the nudity to the plants and trees,
the birds and butterflies, animals and bees.
As you can plainly see, I’m so not a poet,
I’ve always suspected such, but now the whole world will know it!
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